Bad Romance

Everyone's seen those romantic flicks, and that hint of romance is often present in movies that aren't of the said genre. Now a guy will probably ignore the whole romantic theme, but not women. And lately I've been hearing a lot of women ask, "What the hell happened to romance?" More to the point is probably, "Why aren't guys (the guys I date) romantic?" And it's not just a lack of romance, but a lack of chivalry.

Well, there are a lot of answers to those questions. In my opinion, the answer is almost always that other women stopped demanding it. And that has to do with the whole institution of relationships, what they are, and how they work, aaaand, your partner's past relationships. Let's be honest. People are a lot more promiscuous nowadays. How does that tie in you ask? Well, way back in the day people would court their object of love; they didn't just hop into bed after the first date. Now, this is where I'd like the ladies to pay attention. Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. Think of guys as dogs and sex as that doggy treat. As long as you keep that doggy treat with you, the dog is going to follow you and do all these tricks to get you to give them the treat, and it's cute and you like it. You give the dog the treat, he's going to expect another one, and you might give couple more. Nice analogy I drew, huh? My point is that you need to delay gratification a while. You should want to form an emotional bond with your partner. As great as sex is, it's no replacement for true human connection.

Now onto past relationships. As we enter one relationship and move onto another, we learn things about how people work. We pick up little signs that tell clue us in on what's going on with our significant other. Everyone knows what they want when they enter a relationship with someone. Some people are only looking to have fun. Others want a long, committed relationship. And you can tell what someone wants in a short while if not from the get go. More importantly, however, you need to make it clear what it is that you want. Just be sure that both parties want the same thing. If a guy is genuinely interested in you, he'll make note of little things, things that other people would generally overlook. And that's true of most people who care for you, regardless of whether or not they're interested in you romantically.

Above all, you should be realistic about what you want and who you're with. Not all guys are going to write you poems or compose a love ballad for you. Most probably won't swoop in on a white horse or a nice car at that. But the guy who does care for you is going to be there when you need him and probably when you don't. He's going to know how you're feeling by the way act and by what you say or don't say. He's going to know what you need even when you act like it's something else. He's going to know what counts.